


Baking and Babies

by KaytheJay



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Birth, Giving Birth, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:47:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25018759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytheJay/pseuds/KaytheJay
Summary: Aziraphale goes into labor, however, he decides to bake before giving birth.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 78





	Baking and Babies

**Author's Note:**

> Here's something that I randomly came up with this morning. I didn't want to be the one to write the fic, but I knew that no one else was probably going to do it so I wrote it anyway. So here's this.

Aziraphale found himself in the kitchen, baking like he did a lot of the time anyway. It really wasn’t like he had much better to do than bake a few cakes throughout the day anyway. Heaven had pretty much disowned him, so they weren’t giving him any new jobs. Not even the smallest of miracles to perform. 

“Aziraphale, what the fuck are you doing?” Crowley asked as he came into the kitchen. Aziraphale shrugged.

“I like to believe that there is no such thing as a stupid question,” Aziraphale said as he dumped sugar into his bowl. “But I think you already know the answer to that one.” He stirred the mixture around a little bit, tasted it, and added more sugar. 

“I can  _ see  _ that you’re baking, but what I don’t understand is why.” 

“Then you could have asked why,” Aziraphale said. “Though I think you know the answer to that too.” 

“Didn’t you call me to tell me that you’d gone into labor? That’s why I rushed home.” Aziraphale shrugged. 

“I did, is there an issue?” Aziraphale asked. 

“You’re  _ in labor _ and you’re  _ baking _ ,” Crowley said with disbelief. Aziraphale put his spoon down. 

“And the issue is, what exactly?” Crowley shook his head. 

“I just don’t understand.” 

“Well,” Aziraphale said. “Labor takes quite a long time to actually progress to the point that the baby is ready to come out. Baking also takes a long time to do.” Aziraphale shrugged. “And it would seem that-” Aziraphale’s face scrunched up in pain and he braced himself on the counter. Crowley rushed to his side. Aziraphale sighed once the contraction relieved itself. “It would seem that I need something to do while we wait for the pushing bit of this whole thing, don’t you think?”

“No, you are not doing this to yourself. Absolutely not.” 

“And why not? I am quite capable of this.” Crowley shook his head.

“You’re ridiculous.” Aziraphale shrugged. 

“I don’t see you about ready to push a baby out of your body so I don’t think you get much say in my chosen activities.” Aziraphale placed his hand over his stomach. He was in the last few hours of having his baby right there all the time. It was quite odd to think about. 

“I still don’t think you should-” Aziraphale put his finger up. 

“If things start progressing faster than they are currently, I will stop what I’m doing and go have a lay down,” Aziraphale said. “But right now, I am not going to just sit and wait for this to happen. I want some cookies, and I am going to make myself some cookies. A little treat before the storm, perhaps even after the storm.” 

Against Crowley’s better judgment, he let Aziraphale do his baking. Every once in a while, Aziraphale would stop when a contraction would hit but would continue on as if nothing happened once it passed. Eventually, the house was filled with the lovely scent of Aziraphale’s cookies. It was a soothing scent that almost made the contractions easier. 

“Is there anything that I can get for you?” Crowley fussed. “You’re doing quite a lot and you’re still in labor I need to-”

“I’m fine, Crowley, thank you,” Aziraphale said. “I will know when things are ready to happen, it is quite alright with me to stand here and enjoy my baking.” Aziraphale placed a cookie sheet in the oven and set the timer. “Everything is going to be just fine.” 

“Yes, angel, I know. I just worry.”

“There’s nothing to worry about, I’m ok.” Aziraphale covered the remaining cookie dough with plastic wrap and put it in the fridge to wait for this batch to be done. 

“But they’re getting closer,” Crowley said. “Shouldn’t you-”

“I will know when it’s time to stop,” Aziraphale said. “Right now, the baby’s real comfortable where they’re at. And don’t seem to be planning to move out any time soon.” 

“Can I at least do the dishes for you and get you a glass of water?” Aziraphale smiled. 

“That’s fine dear. Whatever you need to do to make yourself feel useful.” 

Crowley did just that. He quickly got Aziraphale a glass of water and watched as Aziraphale sipped at it. He went to the sink to get a start on the dishes. If Aziraphale was going to be baking while in labor, he was at least going to do the clean up so Aziraphale didn’t have to be doing two kinds of chores at once (if being in labor counted as a chore, Crowley certainly counted it, but he wasn’t sure about the rest of the world). By the time he was finished and had everything put away, Aziraphale had the first batch of cookies out on the counter. 

“They look absolutely delicious, dear,” Crowley said. “I don’t know how you do them.”

“Well, you’ve watched me through most of the process,” Aziraphale said. Crowley rolled his eyes. 

“I know but-” Aziraphale sucked in a breath. Crowley looked at the clock to see how much time had passed since the last one. “That was only two minutes,” Crowley said. “Will you  _ please _ humor me now and go get ready to actually give birth.” Aziraphale nodded. 

“I suppose I must,” he said. “But can I just-”

“Those are too hot to eat right now,” Crowley said. “I will not have you burning yourself on a cookie right before our baby is born.” 

“Oh alright,” Aziraphale said. He allowed Crowley to push him into their bedroom, which Crowley had already taken the time to get cleaned up and ready for the delivery, including bringing the bassinet into the bedroom instead of in the baby’s room. “You really didn’t have to do this I could have-”

“Yes I did,” Crowley said. “You know, you don’t have to do everything anymore. I’m here to help you.” 

“I know,” Aziraphale said. “I just feel bad. It reminds me that I’m just completely useless right now.” Aziraphale slipped his pants off before crawling into bed. He spread his legs. “Can you look and see how far I am?” 

“I can already tell you that you are quite far I don’t think-” 

“Ten centimeters,” Aziraphale said. “Look and see if I’m ten centimeters yet.” 

“How are you being so calm about this?” Crowley asked. Aziraphale shrugged. 

“You’re doing enough worrying for a hundred people, I don’t think I need to start worrying myself too,” Aziraphale said. Crowley shook his head.

“But you should be the one who’s worried, not me. You’re the one who has to . . . has to give birth.” Aziraphale shrugged again.

“Humans have been doing this since the beginning. Most of them are just fine. Hand . . . hand,” He said. Crowley gave him his hand. Aziraphale squeezed it. He shifted on the bed. “So? How far? How long’ve we got until go time?”

“I don’t fucking know, Aziraphale,” Crowley said. “I’ve never done this before.” Aziraphale let out a laugh. 

“And I’ve never been on this end of it either, but here we are,” Aziraphale replied. “I can’t push until I’m ten centimeters. Am I ten centimeters?” 

“Ten centimeters?” Crowley asked, finally processing that Aziraphale was asking him to do something. “I’m not quite sure what you mean by that.” Aziraphale smiled. 

“Just go down there,” he instructed. Crowley did as he was told. “There should be a hole there that is bigger than it was the last time you saw it,” Aziraphale said. “Is it ten centimeters?” 

“ _ That  _ is where the baby is coming from?” Crowley asked. 

“Yes, dear,” Aziraphale said. He gritted his teeth as another contraction rolled over him. “Ten centimeters, is it ten?” Crowley nodded. 

“I think so,” Crowley said. “Are you sure that’s big enough for a baby to come out of?” 

“It must be,” Aziraphale said. “That is when humans start going, so I suppose on the next one I have to-” A contraction rolled over him. Aziraphale started pushing. Something shifted. He gasped once he was done. “I have to hold it for ten seconds,” Aziraphale said. “That is how long humans do it for, so I imagine it is quite the same here. Can you count out ten seconds every time?” Crowley nodded. 

“If it will help you, I think I can manage that,” Crowley said. Aziraphale smiled. 

“Well, get ready cause here comes the next one,” Aziraphale said. 

***

“That seemed like an awful lot of work for something this small,” Crowley murmured, holding his son for the very first time. He’d been born only seconds before, but Crowley already loved him dearly. He didn’t want to let go of him. Aziraphale didn’t say anything, too busy trying to catch his breath. Crowley took him to the bathroom where he gently washed the blood and other fluids off of him. 

Birth was absolutely disgusting, Crowley decided. There was so much blood and fluids all over the bedsheets now. Not to mention the bowel movements that Aziraphale had accidentally done before the baby had arrived. And when the baby was actually born, that was a weird experience. There was just a head sticking out of a hole that should not have been in any way large enough for a head to fit through, let alone an entire body. None of it should have even been possible. But it was. 

When he returned to the bedroom, there was another bit of something on the bed. It was covered in veins and looked disgusting, much like the rest of the scene currently in their bedroom. Crowley put the baby in his bassinet and moved closer to examine the thing. 

“What the hell is that?” Aziraphale smiled. 

“It’s the placenta,” he said. “Didn’t you do any sort of research before this happened?” 

“I didn’t think human birth would have been so similar to you giving birth,” Crowley said. “I figured that it would happen more like the Sims. Aziraphale laughed and shook his head. 

“No, I guess that’s not exactly what has happened here, is it?” Aziraphale said. “That would have been much easier.” Crowley nodded.

“No kidding,” He agreed.

Crowley miracled the mess away. There was no way that he was going to stick his hand in any of that mess, and he wasn’t going to make Aziraphale do it either. Besides, this was their bed and they didn’t really have anywhere else for Aziraphale to rest while Crowley took the time to clean up the mess anyway. And Aziraphale was exhausted, so Crowley didn’t think he was going anywhere any time soon anyway. Once the mess was taken care of, Crowley brought the baby over and placed him on Aziraphale’s chest. 

“Hello, little one,” Aziraphale whispered to the sleeping baby. “It is quite nice to be able to hold you like this now.” Crowley crawled into bed beside Aziraphale. He adjusted Aziraphale’s hair with one hand and put the other on the baby’s back. 

“He’s perfect,” Crowley said. “Absolutely perfect.” Aziraphale nodded. 

“He is, isn’t he?” The baby opened his eyes for the very first time. 

“He’s got your eyes,” Crowley noticed. Aziraphale smiled. 

“And your nose,” Aziraphale replied. Crowley could tell that Aziraphale was very much in need of a nap, but didn’t want to admit it. So Crowley lifted the baby off his chest. 

“I’ll go bring in some cookies,” Crowley said, giving himself an excuse to leave the room. “Just wait right here.” Crowley carried the baby to the kitchen and grabbed a single cookie before heading back to the bedroom. Aziraphale was already fast asleep. Crowley smiled. “You did such a good job bringing our son about, rest easy.” Crowley took a bite of the cookie, suddenly grateful that Aziraphale had decided to bake instead of relaxing into labor. “Your daddy is a good baker, too bad you’re too little to have any or papa would share,” Crowley whispered to the baby. 

Crowley settled back into bed, careful not to get crumbs all over the bed. He didn’t want to have to perform another cleaning miracle that morning. All he wanted to do was enjoy time with his partner and his newborn son. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @justanangelandhisdemon


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